Why I Ditched My Husband (Temporarily!) on Our Honeymoon
Ubud, Bali 2025
So, here I am, on my honeymoon. Alone. This statement tends to surprise my friends and family when I share it. Their reactions range from worried concern to sheer confusion: Why would you choose to be alone on your honeymoon?
Let me clarify—our honeymoon is a full year long. Yes, an entire year dedicated to adventure, exploration, and living out our dreams. It’s a rare and precious gift in today’s fast-paced world to have the freedom to carve out this much time for ourselves and our relationship. With a year to share, not every minute needs to be spent together. In fact, taking intentional time apart has only strengthened our bond.
One of my long-held goals, over a decade in the making, is to complete an intensive three-week yoga teacher training course. Not because I want to teach yoga, but because I want to deepen my practice, focus on my health, and immerse myself in a routine of meditation, breathwork, and vegetarian living. This honeymoon is the perfect opportunity to check this goal off my list, and I’m grateful to have a partner who wholeheartedly supports me.
Meanwhile, my husband, Mat, is chasing his own passion: surfing. Every day, he spends hours in the ocean, doing what fills his soul. It’s a mutual understanding and respect for our individual interests that makes our relationship work. While we share a love for nature, travel, and simple living, we’re also unique individuals who don’t feel the need to mold ourselves into one another.
Time apart encourages us both to maintain individual identities while still being a couple. Feeding our own interests and passions not only fosters independence but also allows us to bring fresh energy and perspectives into your relationship.
When we reunite, we’ll have so much to share, and these experiences will enrich our relationship. But for now, I’m leaning into the joy of solitude and the opportunity to focus solely on myself without guilt. It’s a time to reflect, recharge, and embrace the power of being alone.
The Benefits of Being Comfortable On Your Own
Being comfortable in your own skin is a cornerstone of healthy relationships and personal well-being. When you cultivate a strong sense of self, you approach relationships from a place of genuine desire rather than reliance. This distinction is crucial. When your happiness depends entirely on another person, it creates a fragile dynamic, placing undue pressure on the relationship to meet all your emotional needs. Inevitably, this can lead to feelings of disappointment or strain when your partner is unable to fulfill these expectations, as no one can be everything for someone else all the time.
My happy place. An ocean facing balcony at sunset with a good book and a glass of red.
On the flip side, developing a sense of independence helps build emotional resilience. It ensures you can navigate life's challenges without leaning too heavily on your partner or others. This independence allows you to weather the ups and downs of life, making you a more stable and reliable partner. Instead of bringing neediness or dependency into the relationship, you bring strength, confidence, and a well-rounded sense of self.
Finding Empowerment Through Solitude
Spending time alone can also be empowering. Over the course of our relationship, I must begrudgingly admit I’ve become overly dependent on Mat for certain things, particularly anything tech-related (seriously, my lack of tech skills rivals that of a clueless grandma—it’s shocking).
When I arrived in Indonesia for my yoga course, I had to navigate challenges on my own, and the small victories felt monumental. Setting up my own SIM card made me feel like a total boss. Ordering a taxi through the Grab app brought me an absurd amount of joy. It’s funny how completing such seemingly menial tasks on my own boosted my confidence and sense of capability.
These experiences are proof that alone time can foster independence and resilience. Every small achievement builds a foundation of self-reliance, reminding you that you’re capable of navigating challenges on your own. And with each step, you uncover a stronger, more empowered version of yourself.
Conclusion
Alone time is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, pursue passions, and build the resilience needed to navigate life. Embrace the gift of solitude. It’s a powerful tool for personal growth and a cornerstone of healthy, fulfilling relationships.
Trying to find my balance slacklining. Sumbawa, Indonesia, 2025
Ask Yourself: Do you know what truly makes you happy outside of your relationships? How do you recharge your energy?
Set a Personal Goal: Identify one thing you’ve always wanted to do independently, whether it’s taking a solo trip, enrolling in a class, or trying a new hobby. Make a plan to start it.
Embrace Moments of Stillness: Challenge yourself to sit quietly without reaching for your phone or turning on the TV. Observe your thoughts and feelings, and practice being comfortable with the stillness.
Taking these steps can help you deepen your relationship with yourself and, in turn, enhance the relationships you have with others. Independence and self-awareness are gifts worth cultivating—starting today.
