Living Life on Your Terms: Breaking Free from Society's Expectations
From a young age, society hands us a script:
Graduate high school.
Get a college degree.
Land a stable job and climb the corporate ladder.
Find love, settle down, have kids, and buy the house with the white picket fence.
The message is clear: This is the blueprint for happiness.
But what if it’s not?
What if the societal narrative feels more like a cage than a guide?
We’re all different. What brings you joy might be someone else’s nightmare. Your bliss might be my torment. So, how do we navigate our way to fulfillment when the script doesn't fit? When is it okay to break the mold, and when should we follow tradition?
Take a moment to reflect:
What societal expectations have you internalized that don’t actually align with who you are?
Redefining Tradition:
A Wedding That Was Perfectly Us
My partner Mat and I were firm in our decision not to marry. The idea of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a single day felt absurd, and the thought of planning a wedding seemed more like a punishment than a celebration.
But then, my mother said something that changed everything:
"You don’t have to have a big wedding like everyone else. Just do it your way."
It was a revelation.
We didn’t need the designer dress, the overpriced venue, or the meticulously coordinated table settings. We could create something authentic to us—and we did.
Here’s what our wedding looked like:
An aisle made of conch shells leading to a bamboo altar crafted by a friend.
Coolers packed with beer and wine, and a friend barbecuing up a feast.
Wooden plates and utensils tossed into a bonfire after use.
Pallets from grocery stores turned into tables, covered with simple sheets.
Board shorts and bikinis for the post-ceremony beach dip.
Our "first surf" together, tandem on a board, replaced the awkwardness of a first dance. The day ended with friends gathered around a bonfire, sharing laughter under the stars.
It wasn’t traditional. It wasn’t extravagant.
It was perfect.
And the best part? We saved enough money to fund something even more meaningful to us: a year of travel.
Choosing Adventure Over Convention
When I suggested taking a year off work to travel, Mat hesitated.
"Adults don’t do that, Shan."
Ah, there it was again—society’s voice, telling us to stay in our lane.
Thankfully, we didn’t listen.
Four months into our 13-month honeymoon, we’ve chased waterfalls in the Philippines, surfed til’ our arms grew weak in Indonesia, savored wine and cheese in France, and are now parked by the beach in Byron Bay, Australia, living in a van turned home.
Every day, we wake up with the freedom to create the life we want—one that aligns with our values and dreams, not society’s expectations.
Your Turn: Rewrite Your Story
What messages have you absorbed from society that no longer serve you?
Which ones can you let go of to pursue your own happiness?
Take a moment to reflect and ask yourself:
What steps can I take to veer off the beaten path?
How can I move toward my bliss, my way?
As Joseph Campbell wisely said, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
So, go ahead. Take that first step in a direction that feels true to you. Follow your own path. Life is too short to live by someone else’s script.
About the author: Shannon O’Brien is an author, international teacher, travel enthusiast and nature lover. Explore her adventures and insights at shannon-obrien.com.
